I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
two words: eviction party
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
