Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
