I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
try to milk me bitch
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