Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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