What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
