Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
