seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
