Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
