How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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