We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
