I CAN MOONWALK!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm too high and old for this...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
