Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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