Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am available for nakedness
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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