it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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