I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wanna passion pit in your ass
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
