My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
