Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
