they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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