I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
