I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
