Man, jail baloney is awful.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
