He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
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we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
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All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
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