I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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