Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
The air was thick with penises
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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