Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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