my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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