THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
