yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize