But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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