this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She needs sedatives and a leash
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
