i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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