Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
