I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
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Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
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It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Hello my rib-scented angel!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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