I have demons in me.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
