Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
