I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
