Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you traded sex for a burrito?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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