Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
