he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
