why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
