I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
