Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
