Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
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Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
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I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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