I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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