Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
