Don't you send me to vm
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize