My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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