So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Nicole vs. Life
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
