i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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