Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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