My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
