your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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