FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
