I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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