eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
