Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
