why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize